Day 25

Wow, it really feels like I've been doing this for more than 25 days.  Yet, it also feels like I just got here yesterday.  Explain that one to me, please.  

I apologize to all my faithful readers out there.  I haven't posted in a few days.  I was busy Tuesday night...which lead to me being super tired Wednesday night.  Plus, my mom is on vacation, and I'm not sure who else actually reads this (V, I know you read it so no smart ass comments).  Plus, I haven't really been in a creative mood of late.  This medical school thing is no joke.  Its hard work.  I know I've said it over and over again but serious...did you know that there is TWENTY, 2-0, muscles in your forearm.  Each with different actions, innervations, attachments, and blood supply.  (PS - I know I write using fragments, but I don't really give a shit, my blog, my rules)  How long do they take to explain all of them...an hour.  Mmmm hmmm.  

I've come up with a new idea.  I'm going to give random shout-outs to people.  If I give you a shout-out, I expect you to leave a comment just acknowledging the shout-out/or acknowledging the post.  My first shout-out goes to....Miguel Miguel Inderain Inderbain, aka Mike the Kike, aka Ginsy.  I will mention this shout-out every day until you respond.  Cheers.

Way to go Kobe and the rest of the Lake Show.  I am really excited to collect $150 from Beenman, aka Beeno, aka fatty.  The PISTONS?! HAHA

Disappointed in the Red Wings, namely Mike Babcock.  Seriously, you sit the guy with the most goals in the series on your team for a 40 year old flamer?  Poor coaching in my book, granted my book is a napkin you used to set your chaw on.  

I had my second PAcE quiz yesterday.  21 out of 24 BOIIII.  Ok, this is why this school sucks.  These PAcE quizzes are meant to provide use, the students, with questions that will prepare us for the Mini's.  I kid you not when I say that every single professor at one point while explaining their questions said, "This won't be a type of question I ask on the Mini."  Seriously?  Are you a fucking joke?  Yes.  

Tune in next time for a real post, with a real story, that will produce real thoughts.  Until then, cheers.

Night,

Dr. Samsun

Past 3 day expenditure:  150 EC (electricity, which is almost out again), 60 EC groceries, 70 EC food, 20 EC juice       300 EC

Day 22 The Week Before

I've noticed that people are actually viewing the blog, yet still no comments (except for spam I think?).  Oh well, I'm doing this for myself anyways.  

I skipped working out today.  I won't make that mistake again.  I'm so happy to finally be at the point where I hate going a day without exercise!  It makes the day so much better.  I feel better.  I don't feel guilty about eating.  I look at myself and see progress.  Days like today, I look at myself and see the flaws.  I lose a certain confidence.  The confidence that I've worked so hard to get back.  The confidence that I've lack for too long.  Why wouldn't I want it?  Why wouldn't I put myself in a position to have it?  See, things are finally starting to click in the right way.  As cliche as it may sound, the clouds are clearing.  I'm able to think like I used to think.  I'm able to act like I used to act, except this time I bring knowledge of past events.  I smoked one cigarette today.  They sell them individually.  I wanted to remember what it was like.  I didn't crave it.  I needed to remind myself of what I had done.  Of where I had been.  As I walked down the street with the cig stinking its smoke in air, it took me about 2 puffs before I remembered why I had quit.  It wasn't for me anymore.  Of course, not taking adderall helped, but simply not wanting to anymore helped much more.  The physiological craving was trumped by the psychological feeling.  Thats what I've come to realize.  How you feel about something can greatly impact your performance.  In everything.  In every activity.  In every job.  In every relationship.  Don't get me wrong, sometimes physiology kicks the shit outta psychology, but winning a battle doesn't win the war.  

Today was a national holiday in Dominica.  Most places were closed.  The reason for the holiday...Beach Day.  Apparently, once a month, this island shuts down to celebrate the beach.  Funny thing about today though.  It rained.  It rained hard.  From 8am til 1pm.  Apparently "God" doesn't give a shit about Dominica's Beach Day Holiday....Oh yeah, it was the first day its rained in 2 weeks.  

Night,

Dr. Samsun

Day 21 Way To Go Justin!

WOW!  Talk about stepping up at the right time!  Congratulations to Justin Abdelkader for scoring his second goal in as many nights in the Stanley Cup Finals!

This is another edition of Random Thoughts of Dr. Samsun...

Muskegon, MI got some quality airtime tonight on NBCs telecast of the Stanley Cup Finals.

I had another hockey game today.  I too scored, twice, but we lost again, by 2.  I am getting my feel back though, so in the future, watch out.  

I was reading a list of interesting questions to get to know someone and this one came up...

If you could go back in time to when you were in fifth grade a relive everything from that point in time knowing everything you know now, would you lose your virginity sooner, the same time, or later than you did?

Well, thats easy...ha, but assuming that my exceptional knowledge wouldn't have gotten me laid any sooner, I definitely would have waited a bit longer to lose my virginity.  I lost it at 16, sneaking out of my house.  I only knew she was older and willing.  I would have waited.  Annie made me wait too long, I was impatient at that age.  I truly am sorry for that.  Annie deserved better.  Don't get me wrong, I was good, but that instance, I treated her like shit.  I believe karma has made up for it though.  

Lebron James is the biggest piece of shit in professional sports.  "I'm a winner.  I'm not going to shake the hand of somebody that beat me, thats not how I am."  Yea, because you are a ghetto ass fake piece of shit blessed with genetics that make you a beast on the court and a loser bitch off it.  Just like Shaq.  The ONLY reason you are good is because of build.  You are bigger and faster than everyone else (where Shaq was just bigger).  You have no skill whatsoever.  You make as many jumpers as I make, but you sure can bull your ass to the glass and make a layup, kudos to you (and Shaq) for overpowering everyone will brute strength and NO skill.  

Kobe, on the other hand.  Kobe takes what he was given, and said I'm going to beat you in every way imaginable.  More skill than any other player in the history of the NBA, including MJ (who was MJs competition?)

I'm actually quite impressed with the Dean of Ross University.  She made it through the hike.  It was not an easy hike, yet she did it.  Now, I don't know how many Deans of Medical Schools could do that...yet, I don't know how many Medical Schools Dr. Coleman could be a successful Dean at, if you get my drift...

Freshly squeezed mango and pineapple juice may just be the thing to keep me off drugs...and maybe even sex...because I swear, its like drinking a magic brownie, 3 norcos, 3 shots of Johnny Blue, two tweeks all while orgasming.  (no, but seriously, to those who know, HOW GREAT WOULD THE NEXT 5 HOURS OF YOUR LIFE BE AFTER THAT!?)  

Damnit!!!!  Now I want to try that one out...

I was thankfully able to change my flight back to Michigan from August 24 to August 19.  Thank god I found a cheaper way to do it because those 5 days would have been true killers...

Check out tomorrow's blog:  One week remaining!  (Unless something comes up)

Day 20 7 Waterfalls

Congratulations to Justin Abdelkader for scoring your first of many playoff goals for the Detroit Red Wings, and in the Stanley Cup Finals.  

Congratulations to Lebron James for showing how much work you still have before you can even be in the top 10 all-time.  

This is my video from today's hike.  It was a pretty great hike.  Six hours.  Sorry if the audio is a lil messed up.  Enjoy.

Day 19, Why a Doctor Makes So Much Money

Congratulations to the LA Lake Show.  4 more wins!

Why does a doctor make so much money?

Well, there are two main reasons why this is.  

Reason one.  For everything this blog has been about so far.  The amount of study.  The hours and hours of reading, writing, listening, memorizing, feeling, questioning, and worrying.  The demand to be your best at all times.  One mistake, and you just killed a person.  Two mistakes, you lose it all, pulled out from under you like you never deserved it.  Not for 4 years.  Not just to pass the final exam, but for the rest of your career.  Medicine changes every day.  New techniques are being discovered, new microbes evolved, human beings as a species are changing all the time.  You don't just become a doctor and you know it all.  You devote your entire life to medicine.  You devote your entire life to learning, and studying, and evolving.  To be a real doctor, complacency can't exist.  

Reason two.  Money.  Wait Dr. Samsun, how does money have anything to do with how much money you make?  Questions like that make it clear as to why I'm the doctor, and you are not.  (Sorry, if you know Katt Williams, you might think thats funny because I did.)  Well first, everybody knows money plays a role in everything.  Everything?  Everything.  (another Katt joke)  Ok, I'll compare myself to a mildly above average business student.  Lets see, I went to Michigan State University (YAH!).  He went to...hm...the University of Michigan (BOO!).    

                                                                        Me                                        Him           

4 years at undergraduate                   4 x $12500                             4 x 15000

    ---4 years housing                          4 x 12 x 650                          4 x 12 x 800

    ---4 years food/extra                    4 x 12 x 1000                        4 x 12 x 1000

1 year graduate school                          $12000 

9 year housing                                      9 x $675

9 months food/extra                           9 x $1000        

Income 1st year out of college                  $0                                  $40,000 (good job)

10 semesters at medical school        10 x $14000

4 years of housing                               12 x 4 x 750

4 years of food/extras                        12 x 4 x 1000

Income in those 4 years                              $0                                  $200,000

Total Cost          =                               $-380,275                                +$$$$$

How is that rewarded.  With 3-6 years of residency.  Longer and more challenging than medical school, while making $40000.

The hardest profession, plus the most expensive profession. Answered?

Check in tomorrow for 7 Waterfall Hike (a 6 hour beast)...

Night,

Dr. Samsun

Day 18 BodyTracker

Happy Birthday to Jeff and Jason Rose!  

The preliminary results are in.  BodyTracker at Ross University started today.  BodyTracker uses a specialized scale that measures weight, % body fat, % body water, muscle weight, physical rating, basal metabolic rate, metabolic age, bone mass, and visceral fat.  How?  Don't ask me.  How accurate is the scale?  Don't ask me.  

My results for May 28...

Weight:                                                   189.6 pounds (yes, I did weigh 214 in January)

% Body Fat (normal range 8-20%):    19.7%  (phew)

% Body Water (normal 50-65%):        54.9%

 

Muscle weight:                                      144.8 pounds

Physical Rating:  5, standard average muscle and body fat (hm, I'll take standard right now)

Basal Metabolic Rate:                          2058 calories

Metabolic Age:                                      28 years

Bone Mass (normal 7.3):                     7.6

Visceral Fat (1-12 healthy)                 4               

All in all, I'm pretty average right now.  Which, I suppose, is a good thing considering what I've put my body through the past 7 years.  I will update this in two weeks.  Hopefully with a little less fat and a little more muscle.  And yes, I'm becoming more and more sexy as the weeks go by.  

Past Three Day Expenditure:  60 EC (7 Waterfalls hike on Sunday), 20 EC (bottles of orgasmic Mango juice, guava and passion fruit juice), 100 EC (kitchen groceries), 60 EC (food and fruit)  240 EC (seriously, what can I do?)

     

Day 17 My Complete Day Filled With Distractions

FYI - small note, the dates my not match up with the days because sometimes my post time is after midnight...

I've noticed a few people might actually be reading...yet, no posts (except you, Mom...hmmm).  I guess I'll have to be more controversial.  I'll turn this into Californiacation if you really want.  I am the skills, you don't believe me?  

So, today marked my first day of distractions that I can't seem to shake off.  I've been pretty good, minus the fact that I do watch all the Red Wings and Lakers games, some of the Cavs-Magic games, and I'll have the Tiger's gamecast up so it can distract me every 30 minutes, but its ok.   The Lakers and Wings have played on alternating nights.  Then today happened.  My day started pretty normal after an awful night.  It was my first night if really struggling to fall alseep.  Three hours, 1 sonata, 2 valarian roots, a move to the loveseat and back to the bed, and 2 shots of Johny later, I was asleep.  I woke up at 8.  After the playoffs I'm planning on moving that up to 7.  Simply because the sun rises at 530am and sets at 630pm.  By 730pm I'm exhausted because of the darkness.  Damn melatonin.  Yet, I still need prescription sleeping pills to fall asleep...well that or my green friend, but no time for that now...and I digress.  I work out for 45 minutes.  Shower and have two eggs and toast.  Followed by a rousing session of 2 hours on prokaryotic gene expression during which a 5-cup pot of coffee was consumed.  Simple, mostly review from my wonderful days at MSU.  This was followed with a 15 minute power laydown.  Review or not, prokaryotic gene expression is tiring.  Reenergized, I prepared myself for another two hour round of connective tissue histology.  Thank you Tigers!  Way to make histo a lil bit better!  8-3 over the Royals.  Yeah, the KC Royals are actually good?  Now, round 2 with the 15 minute power laydown.  Shit, connective tissues are tiring, too.  But now its time for Manchester United v. Barca in the Champions League Final.  Sorry, no need to go any further.  Damn MU, losing 2-0, making me depressed.  Next, time to meet Beth for tennis.  Until, as I walked in to rent my raquet, I see an ass hole renting it away from me.  No tennis with Beth.  Soon though, she'll experience my wrath.  I get home from that, and its time for two for hours of Doctor and Patient, Familial Diseases - Cystic Fibrosis and Sickle Cell Anemia.  Both will be cured with genetics.  Then the Wings.  Damn, what a game.  Abs played well.  To win it in OT, wow.  Holy shit,  the Lake Show is on now.  Kobe proved again why he is the best all-time.  Being the leader he is.  And big ups to Shannon Brown.  You broke my heart leaving early.  We could've been special.  You, doing your thing, airing it out.  Drew Neizel, doing his thing, bangin the 3s.  Unstoppable, but I'll forgive you.  You posterized the Birdman and energized the Staple Center, and for that you're in my club.  I've evolved.  I've compromised.  I made sure to stay current with classes, and watch my teams do their thing.  I'll take 3-1 every day.  75% passes.  100% is nice, but its not better than how bad 50% would be.

Go'night.

Me     

Day 15 Two Weeks Until Mini 1

I have two weeks until Mini 1.  Am I ready, hellll no.  Will I be ready?  Probably not.  How can I be?  I can do everything I possibly can, and still not be ready.  This is going to be a test like no other test I have taken.  This is for real.  There is no more, "When I finally get there, it'll be different."  Its here.  My mind is racing a million miles an hour.  What's important?  How can I possibly learn all of this?  There is no way he's gonna ask that...right?  The stress of this situation is so different from anything that I have ever faced.  The sense of urgency.  Do I worry about failing?  Or do I block it out because I know I'm gonna pass?  What if I have a bad test day?  What will I change?  Do I have to think about that?  Should I have a plan just in case?  But thats a distraction, is it a necessary one?  I have two weeks to figure all of this out, to be mentally, physically, emotionally, and psychologically prepared for this.  I must be rolling on all cylinders to accomplish what I must accomplish.  I'm nervous.  I am.  No question about it, but for what might be the first time in my life I feel I am able to use this wound up energy for good.  It gives me a lil boost in motivation to watch that last lecture of the day, to read through the notes one more time.  Its new.  Two weeks.  Fourteen days.  I'll blink and it'll be here, but in that blink I will work harder than I've ever worked.  I will not fail.  I grew up my entire life knowing I was better than you...ah, it sounded right when I was typing...but X that out.  I grew up my entire life knowing what I was capable of, and in two weeks, I'll have my first true test to show it.     

Today is Memorial Day.  Well in the States at least.  This is the first Memorial Day in forever that I haven't had Dad's special NINE course meal.  Jimmy Buffet in the background.  First course: Grey Goose martini;  Second course: grilled homemade pizza; Third course: shrimp cocktail; Fourth course: Johnny Blue; Fifth course: tuna in a wasabi sauce; Sixth course: amazing salad; Seventh course: more Johnny; Eighth course: fall of the bone BBQ ribs, grilled asparagus and zucchini, BBQ chicken; Ninth round: Saunder's Ice Cream Sundae with coffee and Kalula.  Instead, I go to Tomato's, where they don't have their ribs, can't make my second choice (Beef Lasagna) because the power was out on the whole island and the MICROWAVE they use to cook the lasagna doesn't work with their generator, so I have to settle for 4mushroom ravioli (which comes with FIVE ravioli) with a lettuce salad and a piece of bread.  I then bring the food back to my place and proceed to eat alone, in the pitch dark (the sun goes down at 6pm, it is 730pm) with a Diet A&W root beer.  MMM HMMM.  With everything from the above paragraph on my mind.  What a night...   

Day 14 Street Hockey Club

There is a bird or a bug outside my apt that has to be the most annoying creature on the face of the earth.  It seriously chirps more than 2 times a second, and does it rapid fire for 5 seconds.  I'm seriously going to have to go out and kill the damn thing if I ever plan to fall asleep.  I'm seriously screwed.  It sounds like the damn bug is chirping right next to my ear.  I just tried to fill up a KFC cup with water and throw it at it, but needless to say the only thing that accomplished was littering behind my apt.  This damn thing is going to drive me insane.  There is nothing I can do...I don't have ear plugs yet (Mom, I really hope you remembered them).  It is seriously the loudest chirp I have ever heard.  I can't even be mad though, I feel that lil guys pain.  He isn't trying to drive me crazy, hes trying to lour a mate in.  Oh great!  Now he has competition!  OMG!!!!!!!!!  Honestly though, this lil shit is sitting right outside my window chirping away hoping he'll get laid.  If only it were that easy!  I chirp outside windows all the time, and it hasn't gotten me laid since high school...Oh those were the days!  Knocking on windows in the middle of the night, climbing through windows hoping not to wake anyone, diving out of windows because her damn dad woke up and apparently is a body builder.  Things were so much easier back then.  Which brings me to another thing that was much easier back in the day...sports!  I used to be athletic.  Now, not so much.  I go on a hike (even if it was harder than any hike you've ever been on before so no talkin shit) and I'm sore for days.  I made my inaugural debut in the Ross University School of Medicine's Street Hockey Unofficial Club.  Apparently the teams are not set yet, but there will either be 5 or 6 teams.  Granted it has been about 5 years since I last played ICE hockey, 7 years since I last played roller hockey, and I don't think I've ever played shoe street hockey, but apparently they do in Canada, and apparently every Canadian decided to join the club.  I was also the only 1st semester in the club, so the other players had played together before, but man, did I suck.  Apparently, I smoked my cerebellum retarded because it couldn't decipher which leg was which.  I did score 2 goals in out 14-9 loss though, and I was just subbing in because my team hadn't been formed yet, so the loss isn't on my record.  This will be fun though.  I miss competing.  Honestly, if you look at when my downward spiral began, it was when I stop playing competitive sports.  Don't get me wrong, I was screwed up in high school, but not nearly as bad as my last year at MSU.  Hm, this is a mild revelation for me, and it occur in front of your eyes...I knew this blog was a good idea.  I know its scattered with no real structure, but I'm working on it.  All of the terrific feedback I've been getting has really help....pause....cough...screw all of you! (except you Mother, but I stopped listening to you 23 years ago....haha just kidding [payback for saying that about Dr. Samsun]) 

I'm looking forward to tomorrow's post, so be sure to stay tuned...

TOMORROW'S GOALS

Work out in the AM

Pay Tony for meat (10 pounds of beef, 10 pounds of chicken, and 10 pounds of tuna for approximately $130 US, shipped from Miami)

BodyTracker (you'll get more on this tomorrow or Tues)

Expenditures for yesterday and today:  150 EC groceries, 150 EC electricity, 450 EC meats, 70 EC meals and fruit...820 EC

(Honestly, I'm not wasting any money...so what can I do?  I know I've been spending a lot, but considering how 3rd world this country is, everything here is expensive, and comparing myself to others, I know I'm actually in the lower half of what they spend) 

PS: the piece of shit hasn't gotten lucky yet, DAMN BUG!!!!!!!!!!!  UGH!

Day 12 Mission Accomplished

Mission accomplished!  I socialized a bit.  Drank a bit. Watched a little Katt.  Loved the fact that it continues that nearly 100% of people I've shown it too think its hilarious (Apparently my brother is too ADD for it).  An overall enjoyable evening.  Arrived home 3:30 am.  So, as you'll notice, no blog post last night, my bad.  I'm sure you'll get a few woozy posts, probably after Mini's.  June 8.  Day 29 I believe.  Expect it.  And, when I awoke at 9 am I realized again why I stopped drinking.  Luckily for me, it was nothing a good sweat couldn't resolve.  I went to Portsmouth today and purchased a $25 transformer for my XBOX360.  So, I got the system for free (thanks Beeno), but its cost $100 to have it shipped here, $75 to get it through customs for a total of $200 just to get the damn thing working here (thanks Dad).  Now, I have to wait patiently for Fifa to arrive in the mail.  Then its back to domination, in between lectures of course.  

Today, I'm just rambling off random thoughts...

I don't quite understand why when in a group, (maybe its just med students) but human beings feel the need to applaud after everything.  I understand applauding after a play, or comedy gig, even after a speech, but after the professor shows a clip from a Harvard video that is like 5 years old is unacceptable.  After a professor explains the answers to three questions that he grabbed out of a question bank is completely unacceptable.  It really makes me hate everyone in the room.  Then I realize I'm overreacting and try to cool off a bit.  

Link to the Harvard video...It actually is a pretty amazing video and if you haven't seen it I highly recommend it.  My reasoning behind the applause is that this movie has been shown in almost every cellular science class since AP biology.  

http://multimedia.mcb.harvard.edu/media.html

Its the Inner Life...you can choose a speed, I recommend the high speed.  The slow is awesome, but long and can seem to much.  You won't be disappointed, but you may realize just how much you don't know...even if you don't care you don't know.

What does Detroit and Dominica have in common?.?.?  I don't want to get in trouble so I'll stop, but if asked I'll gladly answer...

Which place is better, Detroit, Muskegon, or Dominica?.?.?.?  I don't want to get in trouble so I'll stop, but if asked I'll gladly answer...

Who is better, Kobe Bryant or Lebron James?.?.?  Duh, Kobe...if you want to know why, just ask....

Its been a bad two days for sports (minus the Tigers, atta boys, who said our pitching was bad (me until they started pitching well)), but, it was just a lil hiccup for the Lakers and Red Wings.  The Wings deserved it for scratching Abs tonight.  I'll give it to Lebron he made a shot, 1 shot, way to go.  

I really, really hope I do it the right way this time...

I bought a necklace for 15 EC ($6) and a bracelet for 10 EC ($4).

Apparently, I've either lost a few pounds since I've been here or I was extremely dehydrated this morning.  

Today's Lesson

No classes, Research Day

Tomorrow's Goals

Download stuff from Kory

Watch dissection videos

Go through anatomy note cards twice

Print off BIOCH, Physio, Cell Biology, and Anatomy notes

Read through them twice

Buy electricity units

Previous two day expenditure:  $41 (130 EC) (on anatomy flashcards), 90 EC food, 20 EC alcohol, 15 EC necklace,  5 EC tipping maid (she wouldn't accept more), 50 EC transformer  310 EC

 

Day 10 (1st PAcE quiz)

I'm not in a very creative mood right now, so this will be short.  Long day of classes.

Today's Lessons

BIOCH - Transcription

Physio - Action Potentials

Anatomy - Breasts and Pectorals

DPS - Some culture bullshit (mm hmm)

Cell Biology - ER, Golgi, and Membrane Trafficking II

Tomorrow's Goals

Work out in the AM (Cardio and upper body)

Organize notes

Buy Netter Flashcards

Have an enjoyable, relaxing drinking evening (No school Friday)

PAcE Quiz 1

The quiz went well.  I scored a 18/23 (which happened to be the exact score my group received even though we got a few different questions wrong).  My strengths were my strengths on the quiz (biochem/cell biology).  My weaknesses were my weaknesses on the quiz (anatomy).  My question reading cost me 2 points.  My inability to communicate what I knew cost my team 1 point.  I was able to explain around 10 of the answers to the group in a way that allowed them all to understand.  I could have come in a bit more prepared, but I made an effort not to look over anything before I took the quiz because I wanted my answers to come from straight knowledge and not what I could remember for that hour.  All and all, I am please with my performance.  I have loads of work to still do, but now I know I'm on the right track.  As one of my least favorite, favorite teacher would say...Time to kick butt, and take names...

Daily Expenditure:  20 (dinner + mango)

Day 9 (First anatomy lab experience)

Now we are going.  Keep the comments coming.  So far I've been asked if I was high (which I was not), been called a pussy (which I am not), and lectured by my mother (one day, she will learn what I have learned)  Positive or negative, I don't care, just comment...and honestly, leaving one anonymously is pretty weak sauce.

Tomorrow's Goals

Work out in the AM

Kick ass on the PAcE quiz (We'll know how I'm doing)

Give 3 random compliments (I'm actually going to succeed this time)

Today's Lessons

BIOCH - Enzymes

Physiology - Membrane Potential

Anatomy - Scapular Region

Interesting Fact of the Day

Did you know that your right clavicle is bigger than your left clavicle?  (Collarbone)  It is also the most fractured bone in the body (yes, I have fractured it, stupid Max McGuffey and Corey Keift [I was beating Max's ass in 3rd grade until Corey pushed me off of him and against the log cabin I went] It was probably the terrible air quality that did it to me [Lincoln Park has the worst air quality in the COUNTRY])  The weak point of your clavicle is at the 1/3 lateral portion because here is where the cartilaginous bone and the membranous bone converge during development.  Wow, now you are almost a doctor...like me :).  

Anatomy Lab

I was exposed to almost every type of basic surgery during my time as a Surgical Orderly at Mercy General.  I can't say that I've seen it all, or even close to it all, but I've seen a lot.  I loved it.  Surgery is amazing.  I can still remember the way I felt going into work, wondering what amazing things I was going to see that day.  Wondering if I'd see anything new, anything out of the ordinary.  It was my way of looking into the future.  Looking into my future.  I was able to see the human body in ways that very few people are afforded.  I can still see my first breast reduction.  It turns out it was also an enlargement.  It wasn't done the cosmetic way.  The incision was made below the breast and up and around the nipple.  The entire breast was pulled back.  All you could see was the yellow adipose (fat) tissue.  It took me days before I could look at breasts the same way.  I could have been yesterday when I saw my first beating heart.  I watched as they stopped it, and also got to see them start it back up again.  I was so excited that day.  I witnessed a miracle.  Not through God, but through science.  

Today, I saw my first set of cadavers.  The life was drained out of them.  The red blood turned to gray.  The warmth of the body was non-existent.  The skin resembled leather.  The muscles resembled the meat in a chicken leg from a Detroit area KFC.  The smell, well, don't get me started there.  The formaldehyde burned my eyes.  It was so powerful one of my fellow colleagues had to run out of the lab and return her lunch...

I loved seeing what I saw while at Mercy.  Although not nearly as appealing, I loved seeing what I saw today.  While at Mercy, I was a nobody.  I stood in the corner and observed.  I didn't care though.  I was doing what I wanted to be doing.  Everything was new and exciting, but it didn't mean anything because I was a nobody.  Today, my excitement has nothing to do with that fact that I saw my first cadaver, although a new experience.  No, today, I saw my first patient.  Today, I was a somebody.  Today, I mattered.  How f-ing exciting is that?!

Daily expenditure: 84 (almost $30 US) on 24 cans of diet AW root beer (won't happen again, so I better really enjoy the root beer), 82 on groceries...166   

Day 8 (The Day After)

I woke up this morning and thought I was partially paralyzed.  Its times like these that I'm thankful this place is like every other civilized country (except the USA) and allows for sales of codeine over the counter (writer's note: I've learned my lesson with pain killers. I have no desire to go through that experience again, so no needs to worry).  My miserable day turned into a manageable day, which I suppose is the point, right? 

I'm back to writing this in current time.  It is Monday, May 18 2009 at 11pm.  

Tomorrow's Goals

Work out in the AM (stretch)

Download previous semester info 

Self-quiz using unlabelled anatomy pictures (bones, muscles, ligaments, nerves)

Today's Topics

BIOCH - DNA structure and replication

Physiology - Pores, channels, and pumps/transports; and regulation of cell volume

Introduction to Problem Based Learning (PBL)

Religion

"First of all, I'd like to thank God because without him none of this would be possible."  Oh really?!  Why is it that almost every athlete, actor, actress, politician and musician is so eager to thank God Almighty, our lord and saviour, father of Jesus Christ, our lord and saviour?  Why is it that when anything bad happens countless people pray to God for help?  We live in a world that is factually based.  Try to change the wiki page for Detroit, MI to "City of friendly people," and see how long it lasts.  How many times have we heard this statement, "Get your facts straight"?  Yet, how many people are willing to believe every single word their priest tells them, literally?  So, who has heard the story of Moses and the exodus from Egypt?  You know, Moses brought the seven plagues to Pharaoh's door until he finally let the Israelites go.  Then, Moses lead them to the Red Sea which he parted and escaped Pharaoh's army.  Well, that makes a good story.  It was a miracle sent down from God, right?  How many of you knew that Moses was an army general?  That he lead an army that protected Egypt from rivals to the north that comprised of ... ISRAELITES?  Hmmm.  I never heard that in Sunday School.  I've only seen pictures showing Moses to be old, carrying nothing but a staff.  He was a warrior?  Moses was actually a warrior that was banished from the army, which is why he spent "40 years" wondering the desert as a shepherd, but one day, a burning bush spoke to him (it was God) and told him what he must do.  (Lets see, dehydration, hunger, being surrounded by nothing but sand and sheep for "40" years...I'm sure he was in great mental shape, maybe he ate a mushroom?  Maybe he was straight tripping)  My whole religious upbringing was spent learning about a banished druggy ex-warrior, mm hmm.  But, doctor, he parted the Red Sea, that is a miracle.  Well, yes, that would be a miracle...OR he noted the changing of the tides in his "40 years" wondering the desert (keeping that card a secret knowing he might be able to use it at some point).  Well, what a perfect time to use it when you have an overpowering army chasing your battered army.  It must be God's work.  Or, Moses lead his people to the sea when it was low tide, walked across, and as Pharaoh closed in, the muddy sea floor caught his chariots, the tide rose and bam an entire army is destroyed.  The whole Book of Exodus was written about a military operation designed by a banished old military general.  God had as much to do with it as he had to do with Operation Iraqi Freedom.  This is part 1 of my many part series showing in very simple and easy to understand ways of how ordinary things that happen everyday can be turned into God's work with enough time, the right influences, and ignorant gullible people. 

Daily expenditure (in EC): 52 (dinner and bagels), 57 (phone minutes), 20 (pharmacy), 20 (lunch)...149      

 

Mount Diablotin (The video)

Laugh or Cry (The Mourne Diablotin Experience) (Day 7)

This is Mourne (Mount) Diablotin (of the Devil).  I'm sorry if this one is a bit short, but I am honestly close to being the most exhausted I have ever been in my life.  I have never put my body through that amount of strenuous exercise for that length of time ever before (maybe except ice climbing a glacier in Frans Josef, New Zealand).  This was the steepest, most muddy, most slippery, longest, most demanding hike I have ever been on.  But seeing how I am supposed to try staying positive, I'm trying to find a benefit in this most miserable day.  Well, it was rainy and cloudy, so the views at the peak were miserable.  About 6-7 muscles were either sprained or strained in the process.  I did, however, finally understand a simple concept that I believe will be critical to maintain throughout my medical experience.  I'm not ashamed to admit that I have cried quite a few times in the past decade.  I am an emotional person.  I have built up many defense mechanisms, but if powerful enough, my emotions will be painted on my sleeves.  So, while climbing this terrible mountain, a simple question came up time and time again...Laugh or Cry?  This example was plenty extreme to get passed my defense mechanisms and directly on the sleeve of my shirt along with the pounds of caked on mud.  I finally saw the importance of choosing laughter over tears.  Although miserable, just hearing laughter whether it was mine or my climbing partner's, Beth, made it a little more bearable.  Now, this only lasted for so long, and near the end it was back to bitching and crying.  Medical school is going to be the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.  I'm positive that sometimes I'll not believe how far I've gone, yet know how incredibly more far I'll have to go.  So many times I'll think I see the light at the end of the tunnel, only to be disappointed to see another bend and more slippery muddy steps in front of me, but with the help of Mount Diablotin, I'll remember how much easier it was when laughter was in the air.  No matter what it has to get done.  No one else is doing it for me.  Victor (our guide on the hiKe) is not carrying me down the hill.  At times, I'll be forced with the decision, and laughing is so much better than crying....     

Day 6 (White Coat Ceremony)

First, I would like to give a big thanks to Pops.  My fedex packages finally came in today.  The chair is amazing, and I will finally be able to watch lectures without spasms in my latissimus dorsi and trapezius.  Ya, I'm learning the lingo here.  I think I have identified why this is such a third world country.  It cost nearly $600 in shipping to get 4 boxes here.  Importing here is impossible.  I don't quite understand.  I mean, Australia is nearly three times as far away, yet its much cheaper to send things there.  Not only did it cost $600 to ship it here, it was another $150 just to clear customs.  What a joke.  Which brings me to my next joke.

The White Coat Ceremony.

Although I'm sure it is a little better in US med schools, the White Coat Ceremony at Ross University was the first time I have felt stupid for attending here.  Honestly, I've seen better entrance ceremonies at Mona Shores Middle School.  First, the Dominica color guard (I'm sure the Dominica military is quite a threat) presented the Dominica flag as well as the US flag.  The four military members not holding the flags were holding automatic machine guns that could have taken out the 600+ people in the room.  Sadly, I have grown to dislike the Star Spangled Banner.  I mean, comon, the greatest country on the face of the earth can come up with something a little better (no disrespect intended).  And someone will have to explain to me why exactly its played before everything?  Second, the Invocation.  Needless to say, at this point I was pissed.  God has nothing to do with ACTUAL medicine.  Unfortunately for me, a placebo effect does play a role for the strongest believers, and no, that is not God's work.  It is proven that about 25% of patients will respond to treatment if they believe the drug they are given will work even when that drug is a salt tablet.  So, yes, God can be a placebo.  Third, the Dean of the University spoke and introduced the "distinguished" guests and dignitaries.  Mmm hmmm.  That pretty much compiled of the Ross senior faculty and administrators.  (Apparently the Prime Minister had to cancel last minute).  This was followed by a rousing speech from the only doctor from Dominica affiliated with Ross (Assistant Dean of Academic Affairs).  Well, he had his moments of humor, but mostly he struggled putting words into sentences and covered this by asking for a round of applause every 20 seconds.  He was followed by the highlight of the ceremony, the key note speaker.  His credentials were good.  At one point I think he was the head of the American Board of Opthamology or something along those lines.  He opened his speech by saying, "I'm a little nervous, I've never given a speech in front of this many people before."  Mmmm hmmm.  If you couldn't tell before he said that, you SURE AS HELL could within 3 minutes of his talking.  He was told to talk about what being a doctor meant to him.  Ok, I can live with that.  The only problem was he forgot to write a speech.  I'm not lying.  I saw a few of the MD faculty falling asleep as well as about half of the students.  He would say a sentence....wait for it....wait for it...wait for it...and then say another sentence, but only his second sentence didn't match his first.  His entire speech was a puzzle.  A puzzle that when completed painted a picture of nothing but fog.  It honestly was the worst speech I have ever listened to in my life, no joke.  I wanted to feel bad for the guy, but my anger was too powerful.  After we all awoke after he exceeded his time limit by double (45 minutes or was it 3 days, one of the two) it was time to don the White Coat.  The White Coat symbolizes purity from disease, trust, honor, and respect.  Its funny though, more than half of the people who put on the white coat today will never wear one again (and if I can't remain in the top 50% of this class, I'm moving to Australia and probably won't be seen for a while).  To make matters even better, I'll give you 100 guesses as to what music played during this process.  Comon, keep guessing.  Nope, guess again.  Good try but nope.  Ok, one more guess.  Ha, not even close!  Are you ready...Queen - We are the Champions.  MMMMM HMMMMMM.  At this point, I'm disgusted, angry, sad, and depressed.  What's next?  Oh, we have to recite the "Morning Prayer of a Physician"?!  MMMM FuckingHMMMM.  What a ceremony.  THEN, we went outside for dinner.  A dinner suited for soon-to-be doctors and the many distinguished guests and dignitaries... PB and J cut into triangles with the crust cut off, chee(z)e cookie crackers, some sort of a breakfast burrito? and cold chik'n (cause it couldn't have been chicken) nuggets.  My real dilemma was that some of my fellow students (my future colleagues) were acting like this was actually a big deal.  Some had no complaints of the food, no complaints of the speakers.  I even heard someone say they thought it was pretty good.  UM WHAT?!  They enjoyed it and I didn't feel it was worthy of a Middle School Entrance Assembly.  Which one is the crazy one? 

PS - I'd like to give a big whole hearted THANKS to Beth W. for convincing me to go to this wonderful event.  Without your guidance I have no idea what I would have done...    

PSS - Thank you Jeremy for letting me know I'm not actually writing this to myself.

Day 5

Door to door laundry service for $10.  Wow, can you get any better than that.  On top of that, my clothes smell wonderful.  I have tried countless detergents, every different type of bounce, and I have never achieved this level of fragrance.  

My plans are set for this weekend.  I am hiking to the highest point in Dominica.  Almost a mile up.  That will take place Sunday morning.

Apparently, I am writing this blog to myself, so I will remind myself of how amazing that Red Wings game was tonight.  The NHL is a lot of work to do to catch up with the Big 3, but I don't care if you're a fan of hockey or not, game 7s in NHL playoffs are by far the best game 7s.  

Yesterday's Topics:  Biochemistry - Proteins

                                     Cell Biology - Mitochondria, Peroxisomes, Lysosomes

Interesting fact:  So Da Beers (the diamond company) has made a fortune with the slogan, "A diamond is forever."  Well, thats funny, because its a lie.  Granted in our lifetime it my hold true, but eventually that million dollar diamond is going to turn into the exact same thing as pencil lead.  

Lessons from a feline Spartan Warrior

Dr. Samsun, (yes, thanks to my mother I decided to change your name.  You have always been a spartan warrior so you might as well have it in your name.)  how I miss you.  Sometimes I swear I can see you out of the corner of my eye, walking into the room knowing you own it.  Then I remember your 4000 miles away and perhaps I may have a brain tumor.  I can feel you meading on my leg when you are about to call it a night.  You still make me laugh every time I look at my computer screen and see you pimpin on your balcony, and when I close my eyes and picture you fighting your tail while almost falling off of your balcony.  And then you lick your tail because you finally caught it and bit it and clawed it before you finally realized it was yours.  These are the little things, but these are by no means the only things.  You provided me with so much insight into life.  More than almost anyone else.  You are my son.  I am your father.  You taught me how it feels to constantly give and give, and receive no thanks.  Do you even care?  Of course you do, but you don't always realize how good you have it.  You are my best friend.  You're always willing to listen.  You're never too busy to help me figure things out.  You sense when things are bad, and you show empathy.  You're never afraid of embarrassing yourself to cheer me up.  You are my son and I am your parent.  You do things sometimes that drive me crazy.  You scare me to death, even though you know you'll be fine (at least you think you know).  You have shown me how it must feel to be a divorced parent.  You are growing up and I'm not there to see it except through pictures and stories.  I will never let this happen again.  You are me.  You're impulsive, but you learn (well, sometimes).  You fill every void in my life, yet you fill nothing.  You are just a cat.  I hated cats before I found you.  Without you, I'd still have all the relationships that I have now, but they wouldn't be as complete.  You have allowed me to empathize with everyone that I have come in contact with.  I can see their point of view a bit more clearly now.  My life is better because of you.  You will never be able to fully understand this, but I will.  And because of that, you will always be a part of me.  No matter if you're chasing your tail on your balcony 4000 miles away with not another care in the world except whens your next meal and why isn't Grandma giving me more ice cream.  All I can say is thank you, Samsun. 

Love,

Dr. Mark    

Day 4, Wow, already?

Mild Success.  The damn compliments are the hardest thing.  When was the last time you gave a compliment to a total stranger in a random setting?  It's not easy...I managed to give compliments to the people who made my food.  I guess it counts.  

So, I write this blog at night right before I go to bed.  So technically tomorrow is Day 4 and today is Day 3.  But for future reference I am writing this as if it is the morning.  

Today's Goals:  Get laundry done somehow.

                            Decide on a hike that isn't 9 hours long for Saturday because apparently some                                                      people need part of Saturday to study?!

                            Full body work out in the AM

                            Do learning objective

Yesterday's lessons:  The autonomic nervous system (ewww), Carbs and Lipids, Medical History

Interesting quote/lesson:  PPSS...Parasympathic points, Sympathic shoots  (yes, my professor did say this, and yes, he was talking about a penis)

Part 2 Just Friends

What a terrible position to be in.  I love hanging out with her.  I love seeing her.  She makes my miserable life a bit more tolerable.  Shes able to brighten my day as if shes my own person sun.  We have fun together.  We laugh together when things are funny.  We cry together when things are sad.  We just get each other.  Sometimes, she can finish my thought better than I could have done myself.  She motivates me, and I her.  We are able to do everything together.  We never need breaks.  We just simply enjoy each others company.  Its not lust.  Its not passion.  What is it?  Love?  Its not sexual.  Its intament but only because we know each others deepest fears and our most lofty goals.  I see her as my second half.  I like her so much that I even like her friends, as annoying as they are.  One day though.  Oh, that dreaded day.  She took me by the hand.  She looked me in the eye.  This wasn't a typical look.  I hadn't seen this before.  Her stare.  She must have seen through my soul and back.  She leaned in.  Whispers.  Her lips softly rubbing against my ear.  I'm in love with you.  NO!!!!!!!!!  My sunshine!  My rock!  My happiness.  I love her, too, but not like that!  I love...I'm not IN love.  Shes my best friend.  The one I turn to for everything.  I can't lose her.  I'm nothing without her.  I am a whore.  I won't and can't trust myself with that.  One mistake and shes gone.  Out of my life forever.  I can't lose her.  Everything was so perfect.  Me and her, best friends.  It didn't have to be sexual.  I just don't have those feelings for her.  Our entire relationship is in the balance...          

Day 3

Failed...  

I completed the two harder tasks, but I couldn't find a time to squeeze three random compliments into my day.  I suppose I have some work to do.

Goals for Today:  Weight lifting when I wake up

                               Complete learning objectives

                               Give 3 random compliments

                               Master the bones and muscles of the spine/back

Just Friends

So, who hasn't had to live with the "just friends" tag at one point or another?  Talk about a being between a rock and a hard place...is there really a winner when only one of the two wants things to stay strictly plutonic?  I know there are heaps of articles that deal with this issue, but I haven't written any...so why not?  It SUCKS!  I don't care who you are, how cool you are, how strong your social network is.  You see her...you're sympathetic nervous system kicks in...norepinephrine shoots throughout your brain.  You're heart starts to beat faster.  You need to suck in more oxygen.  You start to sweat.  Butterflys.  There she is...smiling as if the sun needed a pickmeup.  Shes happy to see you, too, but for her there are no butterflys, no racing heart, no increased demand for oxygen.  No sweat.  You are just another one of her friends.  Her response to you is the same as it is to an old classmate she had in her sophomore year.  You can't take your eyes off of her, yet every second a small part of your soul shuts off.  Your happiness clouds.   Your so excited and depressed and nervous and angry.  You know you are the one for her.  She is blind!  She wants you to come over and watch a movie.  Is she toying with you?  Is it finally going to happen.  Now every second lasts an hour.  When do I make my move?  Should I make a move?  Shes sitting next to me.  She must know?!  She has to know!  You're in!  You frantically debate yourself.  You go against everything you think and go with everything you feel.  You take the chance.  The chance that could change your life.  The chance that could solve all of your problems.  The chance thats been years in the making!  You lean in.  Heart pumping!  You're mouth is dry as a bone.  Your hands are sweaty.  The butterflys have migrated to your throat.  She looks at you.  She knows!  YES!!!!!  "Wait, what are you doing?!  I thought we discussed this?  I don't want to lose our friendship"  (the heart stops racing, saliva fills the mouth, the sweat remains, the butterflys...well the butterflys died along with a part of you)

To be continued

Day 2 aka the day after Day 1

Success!  Well, I suppose.  I give myself a 9 out of 10 for the day.  

Today's Topics:  Histology - Cell membranes/cytoskeleton

                              Anatomy - Spinal bones

                              Doctor and Patient - I'm really not sure (placebo effect maybe)

Tomorrow's Goals:  50 minutes of cardio when I wake up

                                   Successfully complete learning objectives

                                   Give 3 random compliments

Yesterday's Lesson

Attention Deficit Disorder.  I was diagnosed in the second semester of my senoir year of high school.  Apparently, it took 18 years before I, or anyone else for that matter, decided that something was wrong.  18 years of living, staying out late, sneaking out, drinking, partying.  Playing whore.  All while graduating elementry school, middle school, and high school with honors...with a 3.99 GPA.  But how, I had ADD and it wasn't diagnosed until it was too late.  I had ADD, and I was treated like all patients are...and sent to MSU.  I had my treatment.  Why wasn't I learning the way I did before?  Why was I better as an undiagnosed sufferer than I was as a treated patient?   I made it through Michigan State.  Piss on my GPA.  My MCAT was respectable...but only after I took it the second time without my treatment!  

Now I'm here, at Ross University School of Medicine.  Back to my undiagnosed suffering.  Back to when learning was fun.  Back to when I wanted to open a book, and learn all the wonders I was supposed to learn.  Why is it that when you do something you want...ADD goes away?  Whose logic was it to give millions of people synthetic cocaine and expect them to pay attention?  My life with adderall was a flash.  Able to think about millions of things millions of times throughout the day, but never able to focus on the one thing I needed to focus on.  

Cheers to Me.  For I have been the ends of the earth (quite literally and figuratively) and I'm still here focusing along as I go...