Laugh or Cry (The Mourne Diablotin Experience) (Day 7)

This is Mourne (Mount) Diablotin (of the Devil).  I'm sorry if this one is a bit short, but I am honestly close to being the most exhausted I have ever been in my life.  I have never put my body through that amount of strenuous exercise for that length of time ever before (maybe except ice climbing a glacier in Frans Josef, New Zealand).  This was the steepest, most muddy, most slippery, longest, most demanding hike I have ever been on.  But seeing how I am supposed to try staying positive, I'm trying to find a benefit in this most miserable day.  Well, it was rainy and cloudy, so the views at the peak were miserable.  About 6-7 muscles were either sprained or strained in the process.  I did, however, finally understand a simple concept that I believe will be critical to maintain throughout my medical experience.  I'm not ashamed to admit that I have cried quite a few times in the past decade.  I am an emotional person.  I have built up many defense mechanisms, but if powerful enough, my emotions will be painted on my sleeves.  So, while climbing this terrible mountain, a simple question came up time and time again...Laugh or Cry?  This example was plenty extreme to get passed my defense mechanisms and directly on the sleeve of my shirt along with the pounds of caked on mud.  I finally saw the importance of choosing laughter over tears.  Although miserable, just hearing laughter whether it was mine or my climbing partner's, Beth, made it a little more bearable.  Now, this only lasted for so long, and near the end it was back to bitching and crying.  Medical school is going to be the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.  I'm positive that sometimes I'll not believe how far I've gone, yet know how incredibly more far I'll have to go.  So many times I'll think I see the light at the end of the tunnel, only to be disappointed to see another bend and more slippery muddy steps in front of me, but with the help of Mount Diablotin, I'll remember how much easier it was when laughter was in the air.  No matter what it has to get done.  No one else is doing it for me.  Victor (our guide on the hiKe) is not carrying me down the hill.  At times, I'll be forced with the decision, and laughing is so much better than crying....