23 Days and Counting

Tonight is a perfect example of why I encourage comments. I wasn't going to write a post tonight, but now, I am.

First, Mother, thank you for leaving a comment on every post. To answer your question...

Jumping off of the cliff was FAR more scary than sky diving. Yes, you all read that correctly. Jumping off the cliff was FAR more scary than sky diving. Sky diving isn't scary. Not once did I think, oh, maybe I shouldn't do this. Sky diving is exciting. Sky diving is taking ALL of your senses and putting them into overdrive. Its so much that you can't comprehend what you're actually doing when you're doing it. You go, you pay, you take off, you jump, you black out, you crush your balls, your parachute opens, you float down. YOU don't make the decision. You just go. Jumping off that cliff...I can remember my EXACT thought the second before I made the CONSCIOUS decision to go. You have to take ALL of your fears, all of your doubts, and bury them. YOU have to decide that its time, and that its ok. YOU have to just go. And after you go, you have time to decipher what you actually just did. You're falling, but you're thinking. "God damnit, Mark. What did you just do!?" "I really hope this doesn't hurt that much." "Holy shit this is a big drop" "Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!" SPLASH. Its a roller coaster without the security of the safety bar.

Second, good ol' Miguel Miguel Inderain Inderbain. Trust me! I empathize with you. Look, you cut me, I bleed green. Sure the Lakers won the World Championship this year, sure the Red Wings won it last year...and this coming year. Sure the Tigers made it to the World Series 3 years ago, but I bleed green. Just like you bleed blue. The only difference. Every analyst with a brain is saying that green is on the rise, and blue...well blue is the Dysfunctional Family that never made it. Its ok, read below. Heartbreak is painful...Megan Fox gave it a 10 outta 10. It'll be ok. I promise.

Third, the revelations just keep coming. I'm quite proud of myself right now. Perhaps I'll explain later. This one was pretty big. IF I do explain, it'll be in second semester.

Fourth, I had another revelation. This one I can hint at now. Being in Dominica has done a lot for me. Whether I want to accept it or not, it has. Granted I feel like I've learned my lessons from this place and I feel I can move on, this place has made me appreciate many things that I took for granted before I came here. Like food, and grocery stores, and customer service (even though I learned this last year), and convenience. The list of things that I'm looking forward to seeing/doing in the 2 1/2 weeks that I'm home over break is quite long. This list is the thing that I look at when I'm down. Its what makes watching that last lecture of the day seem a bit more bearable. I apologize in advance to my family, of course you are all important and I want to see you all (yes, even Daniel, and I'm pretty sure he doesn't even read this), but for how long my list is...I usually can stop after the first two. Samsun is without question #1. I love him. Weird maybe, but honest. I have no shame in it nor will I ever. He is me, but this paragraph isn't about Samsun. This paragraph is about you. This paragraph is about all the things that I've wanted to say to you and never have. This paragraph is about all the experiences we never got to have. I've realized, when I close my eyes, damnit, I see you.

Good night,

Dr. S

25 Days Left DPS Practical

I figured it would help me study by typing my DPS practical on here for you all to read. Enjoy.

D: Good afternoon Ms. Fox, I'm Dr. Gaynor.

P: Good afternoon Dr. Gaynor. Please, call me Megan.

D: Alright Megan, what brings you to see me today?

P: I've been experiencing shooting pains in my chest whenever I take a deep breath or cough.

D: How long has this been happening?

P: Well, I first noticed it a few days ago, but it has gotten progessively worse. My friend finally convinced me to come here today.

D: When was your last physical?

P: I just started shooting a new movie last month. I was required to get one for that. Transformers 3, are you a fan?

D: So, one month ago?

P: Yes.

D: What were the results?

P: The doctor told me that I was in excellent health.

D: Tell me more about your chest pains.

P: There is not much more that I can say. We've had to delay filming because I can't take a deep breath. You've seen my films, right? I have a lot of actuon scenes. Not only does it hurt, I've had trouble catching my breath recently, too. Doc, I exercise everyday! Last week I ran 10 miles, no problem. Today, I was winded just walking to your office.

D: What happens when you take a deep breath?

P: It feels like a knife is penetrating my chest, and then I cough which makes the pain worse.

D: Does anything come up when you cough?

P: Eww! Yes! I almost vomited yesterday when I spit it out, nasty yellowish-green phlegm.

D: Where exactly does it hurt?

P: Right below my nipple.

D: How would you rate the pain on a scale of 1-10 with 10 being the worst pain imaginable.

P: You mean like heartbreak? I'd rate it an 8, nothing hurts as bas a broken heart.

D: Did something happen recently?

P: Men are all jerks!! Well, you've been nice...so far!

D: Care to explain?

P: My boyfriend, well, my ex-boyfriend slept with my best friend, no, my ex-best friend. Thats all.

D: I'm sorry to hear that. How long ago did this happen?

P: One year ago.

D: Oh. No new relationships?

P: No. You're pretty cute though. Are you married?

D: How's work?

P: Well, it was great until this started. I love filming in the United Kingdom.

D: How long were you in the UK?

P: For the past month. Our first scenes were shot there. I just got back three days ago.

D: Have you been in contact with anyone else from the set?

P: Yes, all of em.

D: Have any of them been experiencing anything similar to you?

P: Now that you mention it, a few people have called in sick. I don't know if they have the same thing that I have, though.

D: Have you taken any medications?

P: Well, I'm on oral contriceptives. A friend gave me a few vicodin for the pain.

D: Do you take vicodin often?

P: No, only on a as needed basis. Whenever I'm in pain.

D: And how often are you in pain?

P: Not often, I think I've used in 10 times in the past six months. It helps with the headaches, too.

D: How often do you get headaches?

P: Not often at all, usually only after a long night, but I've had a headache on and off for the past 3 days too. Do you think it is related to my chest pain?

D: We will have to do some tests. How sever are the headaches?

P: Bareable. A five on that scale of yours.

D: When was your last one?

P: This morning, I was on the phone with my mother when it started.

D: Yeah, that happens to me too. Ha. I'm joking, this isn't part of the interview.

D: How is she?

P: Shes great.

D: And your father?

P: He's great, too.

D: Any siblings?

P: Three brothers. It was rough growing up, but now its ok. They aren't the brightest people in the world, so now I have the upper hand, but they are family.

D: Do you know of any diseases that run in your family?

P: No, they can do that?!

D: Yes, well some.

P: Like colds and flus?

D: Not exactly. How are your grandparents?

P: They are alive and well.

D: Okay, I'm going to summerize what we've discussed and you correct me if anything is missing.

P: Okay.

D: You are an actress who just got back from the UK shooting a film. Upon arrival in the US you started having chest pains whenever you took a deep breath or coughed. At first, it wasn't too bad, but it has progressively gotten worse. Along with the chest pains, you've experienced headaches as well as coughing up yellowish-green sputum. Is there anything else?

P: Ha, sputum. No, thats all right.

D: A few more question. Any changes in your hearing?

P: No

D: Vision?

P: No

D: Do you smoke?

P: Only pot, on average once a week and I use a vaporizer. Thats ok, right?

D: Feelings of fatigue?

P: Yeah, a little.

D: Any changes in your breasts?

P: No

D: How's your diet?

P: Great, I have a nutritionist and a cook.

D: Any changes in your urine?

P: No

D: When was your last bowel movement?

P: Um. Girls don't have bowel movements.

D: Thats what I thought too!

D: Stress?

P: Outside of work, I'm a pretty stress free girl.

D: Alright Ms. Fox, I think we can move on to the physical examination. Thank you for answering my questions.

P: Ooo, my favorite, and I said call me Megan!

Cliff Jumping From 50 Feet