23 Days and Counting

Tonight is a perfect example of why I encourage comments. I wasn't going to write a post tonight, but now, I am.

First, Mother, thank you for leaving a comment on every post. To answer your question...

Jumping off of the cliff was FAR more scary than sky diving. Yes, you all read that correctly. Jumping off the cliff was FAR more scary than sky diving. Sky diving isn't scary. Not once did I think, oh, maybe I shouldn't do this. Sky diving is exciting. Sky diving is taking ALL of your senses and putting them into overdrive. Its so much that you can't comprehend what you're actually doing when you're doing it. You go, you pay, you take off, you jump, you black out, you crush your balls, your parachute opens, you float down. YOU don't make the decision. You just go. Jumping off that cliff...I can remember my EXACT thought the second before I made the CONSCIOUS decision to go. You have to take ALL of your fears, all of your doubts, and bury them. YOU have to decide that its time, and that its ok. YOU have to just go. And after you go, you have time to decipher what you actually just did. You're falling, but you're thinking. "God damnit, Mark. What did you just do!?" "I really hope this doesn't hurt that much." "Holy shit this is a big drop" "Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!" SPLASH. Its a roller coaster without the security of the safety bar.

Second, good ol' Miguel Miguel Inderain Inderbain. Trust me! I empathize with you. Look, you cut me, I bleed green. Sure the Lakers won the World Championship this year, sure the Red Wings won it last year...and this coming year. Sure the Tigers made it to the World Series 3 years ago, but I bleed green. Just like you bleed blue. The only difference. Every analyst with a brain is saying that green is on the rise, and blue...well blue is the Dysfunctional Family that never made it. Its ok, read below. Heartbreak is painful...Megan Fox gave it a 10 outta 10. It'll be ok. I promise.

Third, the revelations just keep coming. I'm quite proud of myself right now. Perhaps I'll explain later. This one was pretty big. IF I do explain, it'll be in second semester.

Fourth, I had another revelation. This one I can hint at now. Being in Dominica has done a lot for me. Whether I want to accept it or not, it has. Granted I feel like I've learned my lessons from this place and I feel I can move on, this place has made me appreciate many things that I took for granted before I came here. Like food, and grocery stores, and customer service (even though I learned this last year), and convenience. The list of things that I'm looking forward to seeing/doing in the 2 1/2 weeks that I'm home over break is quite long. This list is the thing that I look at when I'm down. Its what makes watching that last lecture of the day seem a bit more bearable. I apologize in advance to my family, of course you are all important and I want to see you all (yes, even Daniel, and I'm pretty sure he doesn't even read this), but for how long my list is...I usually can stop after the first two. Samsun is without question #1. I love him. Weird maybe, but honest. I have no shame in it nor will I ever. He is me, but this paragraph isn't about Samsun. This paragraph is about you. This paragraph is about all the things that I've wanted to say to you and never have. This paragraph is about all the experiences we never got to have. I've realized, when I close my eyes, damnit, I see you.

Good night,

Dr. S